What if love...

I'm tired of desperately searching for love.

You know what? For once, I'm going to "not care". I'm going to let it go, and I'm not going to let a search for "the one" to define me.

Let me get this straight. I admit that I am a romantic, and this rolls into the belief I have that God has set aside one soul mate for me to be with, to marry, and to start a new life with together.

But regardless of beliefs on destiny and fate, the unceasing search for love is not something that weighs lightly on a man. Certainly not a woman either, although I write from a perspective of what I know.

I want a girl to love. I want someone to treasure and to exalt. I want someone that I can support, as I know she will support me too. I want a best friend who will encourage me to become better every day. I want a woman of God who I can point at and say, "I have no idea how or why I ended up with this amazing girl, but my goodness did God bless me far beyond what I deserved for a partner". She will show me how to love and live. We will be the closest friends who constantly lean on each other for everything, while constantly encouraging one another to press on in this crazy uncontrollable life.

And there is such societal pressure to find this person as quick as possible.

Perhaps it's just me, but it seems that everyone is getting into relationships, getting engaged, or even getting married so quickly. And congrats to those who have found that "one" person...

But I haven't found mine yet.

And although I keep searching, I choose to wait patiently, and not allow society to pressure me into this idea of status, and settling down as soon as possible.

For I would rather be in God's will in my 40s, than to follow my own will in my 20s.

Listen, as I continue to meet new people and grow closer to others, I find people are illusioned by love. Not even love really-- more like an infatuation with the idea of love.

This is why apps like Tinder are so popular (not that it's a bad thing, considering I have used it), why modern music stresses the popularity of the one night stand, why we photoshop every advertisement,

Because it all has to do with a distorted reality of what love truly is.

And what is love? Well that's a hard question to answer. But I'd look at it like this:

To sacrifice oneself for the sake of another, out of loyalty and affection.

Not the best definition, but it works for now.

To demonstrate my love to someone, I would certainly declare to give my life. And this is why the search for "the one" is so appealing. Because, despite common thought, we really truly desire that one person to love, to be dedicated to, to give up everything for.

And that's why I don't want to find just anyone to fall in love with. As a matter of fact, I can't just love anyone. Someday I'll find her, and she'll find me, and I have a good feeling that we'll both know that yes, this is the person we were destined to be with, because it'll all seem to fall into place.

To the Activist

To the activist:

A window is closed on the dog that barks but is opened to the morning dove.

The State of Disunion

I won't waste time scrutinizing each word that President Obama said last night. You can go to CNN or BBC for that. Rather, I want to focus on some general thoughts and feelings gathered from the president's speech, as well as focus on the future of the US in the next two years and beyond.

First, I think that the president's outlook on the country's development is more optimistic than most Americans would agree. Even from the onset, figures like the unprecedented growth in the economy since 1999 and the cheapest fuel prices in a decade seemed like a placatory offering to skeptical critics. Unfortunately for the president, approval ratings are at its lowest, and even the Economist points out that the number of US citizens who think unfavorably of Mr. Obama and his administration are at their highest. Do not misunderstand these statements, however. Approval ratings do not necessarily reflect tangible progress. Although President Obama's motives may be pure, good motives do not necessarily grant action and true growth, especially now with a majority Republican House and Senate. In other words, statements made may seem good, and might even be true, but they don't feel true. For example:

Unemployment rates may be dropping, yes, but let's not forget that many citizens are still working jobs unrelated to their fields, while being underpaid and over worked.

The economy may be growing, but although a chart may say growth is at a rate not seen since years before the Recession, to citizens it feels like it's growing at a snails-pace. People are still not on their feet financially. Extra income to save is also practically vacant for the middle class.

Gas prices might be at a manageable level compared to the past ten years, but this seems unrelated to US progress. Outside factors involving oil giants are more likely to take credit.

Young American test scores may be on the rise, but this does little to prove the health of the US education system which is plagued with apathetic teachers and outdated teaching styles. And this is, not to mention, the era of standardized tests which do little to show true growth and formation in knowledge.

Citizens with health insurance is at its highest in the history of the nation, but the Affordable Care Act (termed "Obamacare") has suffered from multiple inefficiencies and lack of planning. Plus, the media's portrayal of the plan removed the inherent "good" attributed to the bill by highlighting politics and shortcomings.

Soldiers are now home. And yes, president Obama can take the credit for this one. But when followed up by plans for engaging ISIL and a smarter drone policy, it doesn't seem like progress. Rather, more of a pause on regression.

This brings us to another important point.

President Obama's foreign policy has been heavily criticized by a wide range of analysts. It often teeters on the extremes of lacking and exceeding in force. Bringing the troops home from overseas was so important and much-needed.  The past thirteen years have seen a lot of bloodshed, and it has taken its toll on US citizens and communities in the Middle East. War is expensive-- financially, emotionally, socially.

Confronting ISIL now, alone, while risking more American lives (and plenty more Middle Eastern lives) is premature. Sure, Europe has declared a war on terror, but terrorism is a vague and shapeless enemy that will easily slip through our best efforts to eradicate it unless we have a world-united response to remove it. (Terrorism is a complete other issue, however, and it should be discussed elsewhere.) In sum, the US will almost definitely regret a decision to reengage conflict again, after an expensive and rather fruitless war in Afghanistan and Iraq just ended.

Finally, the president will need to somehow put in place a more aggressive bipartisan plan to pass laws in Congress. Republicans and Democrats both can be attributed with the heavy gridlock that has become so prevalent on the Hill. The longer nothing happens, the more frustrated citizens become, especially considering younger generations who are apathetic (and becoming disposed) towards government. This gridlock has been felt socially as well.

This all stems from a lack of unity seen and felt in society today (whether real or fabricated):

Republicans and Democrats.
Women and men.
[Race]. (I refuse to pit one against another, even as an example.)
Gays and Christians.
Muslims and Americans.
Millennial and other generations.
Terrorists and the West.
Immigrants and citizens.
Poor and rich.

These are perceived, and often very real, sources of contention. Although the media can be blamed for the "fanning the flames" of many of these divides, the problem stems from within. In reality, these mindsets must be eradicated if there is any hope for a brighter future-- for the world and for the US. The "us versus them" mentality can, and certainly will, cripple this nation and bring it to its knees.

A house divided against itself cannot stand.

Overcoming stereotypes and prejudices is entirely necessary to take the next steps forward. Here's where we must begin: seeing eye-to-eye with one another. When we see that an "enemy" lives and breathes like we do, it is humanly impossible to turn our hands to fists to administer blows to the other. When I can look into the eye of my brother or sister, and see the fear and desperation and rage that I, myself, am feeling, I cannot continue the hate. When I remove the perceived distance between my enemy and myself, I cannot continue to hate.  When I see beyond the political cartoons and cliché statements of why "the other side is just wrong," I see that others see progress differently than I do, and I cannot continue to hate.

Bringing forth a new era of positive change and growth at home begins with a humbled heart. My sister and brother desire progress as much as I. They simply see it in a different way.

President Obama's next two years in office will be defined by culture-- culture of the White House, culture of Congress, culture of social change, culture of the presence of the US in the world. Uniting on these issues is where US progress begins. Let's remove the disunion that has plagued our country for so long.

Unity has the potential to heal and strengthen.

A house divided against itself cannot stand.

Caffeine

Hi, I'm Derek.
When I drink coffee after 7pm, I stay up late.
When I stay up late, I think.
When I think, I write.
And what I write, you can now read.

The "Gentle Whispers"

   Communication is fundamental to humans and their relationships.  A family who doesn't talk to each other is a group of people who are related, and nothing more.  A business who doesn't practice internal communication is doomed to failure.  Two friends who don't listen to what the other has to say are straining to keep a relationship that doesn't have any substance.  A husband who will not speak with his wife-- and more importantly, listen to her-- is slowly losing the love of his life.
   Our relationship with God relies on the same premise.  As very children of the Creator, we rely on communication to build the foundation of our relationship with our heavenly Father.
   The other night, I was lying in my bed.  It was late, and no one was in the room, so (as I often do) I prayed out loud.  I began by thanking God for who He is, and proceeded to recap my day, with its high and low points, and so on.  Eventually, I began to get a little more personal, as I honestly told my Father about some things I was struggling with in my social life.  I ended up asking a question (remember, I'm praying out loud) and waited for a reply.  As silence ensued, I proceeded to tell God how I was disappointed for the lack of reply.  "God, ya know, sometimes it would be cool to hear you every once in awhile," I said.
   Instantly, I felt convicted.  Why should I expect the God of the universe to have such an intimate conversation with Him whenever I barely give Him five minutes a day in prayer?
   Have you ever considered what it would be like to have a child and live with him/her, yet barely communicate with them?  Wouldn't that break your heart?  The child is able to say "I love you" at every minute of the day, since they are with you constantly, but you rarely hear the phrase cross their lips.  Sometimes you'll hear it once a day.  Twice if you're lucky.
   I feel like that's how God feels about our relationship with Him.  Remember, this is the God who provides for His children.  This is the God that desires to talk with His children.  Yet, they are so busy with the things their Father has provided them with, they forget to stop and talk to Him.  I mean, they barely say "Thank-you," yet they have the audacity to ask for more things.  More?  Really?
   This is why it is crucial for God's children to talk.  It is crucial to talk to the Father, and even more important to consistently speak with Him.  Let Him know what is on your heart.  He's ready to listen.
   One of the many facts in life that people constantly overlook is the fact that communication is a two-way street.  Talking is often remembered, yet listening is conveniently forgotten.
   How does this apply to our relationship with Christ?  Not only do we need to speak to Him, but we need to listen to His words too.  He has given us the Spirit to translate for us.  Translators work both ways.  How amazing is it to think that we have the potential to hear words directly from God?  Yes, it may not be audible words (although, God certainly has the ability to make Himself heard if He so desires), but He consistently speaks words of truth about our lives.  His language may not be one of winds, earthquakes, and fires, but we can be happy in knowing that God speaks in the "gentle whisper."
   Here's the challenge to myself, and to you as well.  Spend more than five minutes a day talking with God.  The more time you spend with God, the more intimate the relationship.  Isn't that what we want, an intimate relationship with God?  This is how we grow.  We strengthen our bond with the Creator when we speak with Him.  He talks; we just have to be trained to listen.

In Step with the Spirit II

   As a week has now passed, I look back on the events filling the past seven days, and let me say that it's not easy to live by the Spirit.  It's a lifestyle change that takes much practice and dedication as time goes on.  So, now begins week two, and where I left off in the last post.
   After showing the Galatians how important it is to be under the Spirit's control, Paul then moves into, what I call, the Fruits of the Sinful Nature.  Paul says they consist of "sexual immorality [which is more than just sex], impurity and debauchery [meaning immorality]; idolatry and witchcraft [yeah, witchcraft is real]; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy [that's a long list of bad things..], drunkenness, orgies [yep, Paul just said "orgies"], and the like" (Galatians 5:19-21; parentheticals added).
   Now before a person casually skims over this section of the chapter, I think it's important to reread a few times and meditate on it.  How many of those do you, and I, exhibit?  How many of those Fruits do you and I struggle with?  And this includes those who follow Christ and those who don't.  I can honestly say that I struggle with sexual immorality, impurity, idolatry, jealousy, selfish ambitions, and envy.  I'm not perfect, and I don't claim to be.  However, it's these things that I can overcome thanks to the Spirit.
   After this long list of "what evil looks like," Paul counters with the Fruits of the Spirit.  Many young Christians can quote the list from heart, after learning it in Sunday school or at a camp.  It's one of those cute and "encouraging" messages about the good things... after we nonchalantly skip over the bad things of sinful nature (19-21).
   Here's what Paul says the Fruits of the Spirit are: "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control" (Galatians 5:22-23a).  These list of things are counter to the Law, a major struggle for the Jews in that era.  And the new idea that one is to live without the strict guidelines of the Torah is quite a radical one.
   Again, this is another verse that we casually skim over.  We have this little checkbox as we quickly compare to ourselves and say, "Yes, I have love," or "Yep, I have patience" and so on.  However, one must look deep inside to truly know what needs to be changed in life.  For me, I struggle with the very idea of love.  I will be honest, I don't always love everyone, even though I try my hardest.  But true love isn't a forced entity.  I cannot just force myself to love my enemies; that is not true love.  Other things I don't have, for starters, is peace, patience, faithfulness, gentleness, and certainly not self-control.  How about you?  Where do you fall in?
   Again, I reiterate that I am not perfect.  I am not like Christ, and I am no where near the standards I shoot for.  But, Paul reaffirms that by ourselves, we cannot do good.  We cannot be good without Christ.  That's why Paul finally concludes with a simple, yet profound verse:
        "Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit." -Galatians 5:25
   I think the idea of being "in step" with the Spirit is a deep and thought-provoking one.  It's the idea of walking with the Holy Spirit, doing the things It would do, saying the things It would say, being the person It would have us be.  This is so foundational to our faith walk, and yet many of us read on without applying.  However, if a person is to truly change for the better, they must adopt the fruits of the Spirit and deny the fruits of the Sinful Nature.  This is how we should live.

In Step with the Spirit

     Lately, I've been feeling spiritually dead.  Well, not dead as in "void of life," but essentially stagnant or without movement.  There are regular periods in life that modern Christians like to dub as "mountains" and "valleys," and I guess I could say I was in the latter.  It was a convenient two-week valley, complete with lack of prayer and Bible reading (which doesn't improve your faith, by the way), and I was ready to get out of it.  I was feeling apathetic and lifeless, and I needed some vitality.
So, I prayed.  It was simple enough, something along the lines of "soften this heart of stone" and "give me new life" and "help me know you more" with other cliché contemporary Christian phrases.  But, thank God, He answered it nonetheless, because it was truly heartfelt.
     I have been reading through Galatians, a book characterized by a spiritually lifeless people.  They were more concerned about the Law and the things that the Judaizers (opponents of Paul's teachings) preached.  It is of significance to point out that these Judaizers attempted to incorporate Old Testament law into the newly Jesus-reinstated Gospel.  (I say "reinstated" because the Gospel was not a new idea, and even though the word is Greek, the process of being saved lasted long before then.)  And although there is nothing wrong with the Law (we often view it in a negative way), the Judaizers believed that all saved people were to adopt a Jewish perspective on life, following the Torah with its 613 commandments for the Jewish life.  Paul disagreed, and many times you will read Him arguing about the unnecessary act of circumcision, which was certainly new to the gentiles of Galatia.  So, there was some stagnancy in the Galatian church.
     But Paul begins to wrap up his letter (or in my opinion, begins the climax) with the Fruits of the Sinful Nature versus the Fruits of the Spirit.  In Galatians 5:16, he begins with, "So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature."  How does one escape from the lack of spiritual vitality of the sinful nature?  In essence, live by the Spirit!  Is this a profound statement?  In my opinion, I don't think so.  It's something that is preached, yet rarely practiced.  We talk about God's Spirit as if It is some mystical being like the Force, and if we squint our eyes hard enough and "use the Force," good things will happen.  So, the charge to live by the Spirit is not profound by any means through wordage, but it is certainly radical when it comes to living life.
     In conclusion, what can we do to improve our faith?  What can we do to have joy?  What can we do to truly love others and have compassion on them?  Ask for guidance from the Spirit!  Each one of us who are in Christ are already living with the Spirit, so let us take advantage of the amazing opportunity that God has so graciously blessed us with, and live in a way that will improve our daily lives tenfold.  This is my challenge to you, reader.  Pray earnestly for God's generous helping of the Spirit, so that you (we) may be true "lights" in a dark world.