Monday, June 8, 2015

What if love...

I'm tired of desperately searching for love.

You know what? For once, I'm going to "not care". I'm going to let it go, and I'm not going to let a search for "the one" to define me.

Let me get this straight. I admit that I am a romantic, and this rolls into the belief I have that God has set aside one soul mate for me to be with, to marry, and to start a new life with together.

But regardless of beliefs on destiny and fate, the unceasing search for love is not something that weighs lightly on a man. Certainly not a woman either, although I write from a perspective of what I know.

I want a girl to love. I want someone to treasure and to exalt. I want someone that I can support, as I know she will support me too. I want a best friend who will encourage me to become better every day. I want a woman of God who I can point at and say, "I have no idea how or why I ended up with this amazing girl, but my goodness did God bless me far beyond what I deserved for a partner". She will show me how to love and live. We will be the closest friends who constantly lean on each other for everything, while constantly encouraging one another to press on in this crazy uncontrollable life.

And there is such societal pressure to find this person as quick as possible.

Perhaps it's just me, but it seems that everyone is getting into relationships, getting engaged, or even getting married so quickly. And congrats to those who have found that "one" person...

But I haven't found mine yet.

And although I keep searching, I choose to wait patiently, and not allow society to pressure me into this idea of status, and settling down as soon as possible.

For I would rather be in God's will in my 40s, than to follow my own will in my 20s.

Listen, as I continue to meet new people and grow closer to others, I find people are illusioned by love. Not even love really-- more like an infatuation with the idea of love.

This is why apps like Tinder are so popular (not that it's a bad thing, considering I have used it), why modern music stresses the popularity of the one night stand, why we photoshop every advertisement,

Because it all has to do with a distorted reality of what love truly is.

And what is love? Well that's a hard question to answer. But I'd look at it like this:

To sacrifice oneself for the sake of another, out of loyalty and affection.

Not the best definition, but it works for now.

To demonstrate my love to someone, I would certainly declare to give my life. And this is why the search for "the one" is so appealing. Because, despite common thought, we really truly desire that one person to love, to be dedicated to, to give up everything for.

And that's why I don't want to find just anyone to fall in love with. As a matter of fact, I can't just love anyone. Someday I'll find her, and she'll find me, and I have a good feeling that we'll both know that yes, this is the person we were destined to be with, because it'll all seem to fall into place.

Saturday, January 24, 2015

To the Activist

To the activist:

A window is closed on the dog that barks but is opened to the morning dove.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

The State of Disunion

I won't waste time scrutinizing each word that President Obama said last night. You can go to CNN or BBC for that. Rather, I want to focus on some general thoughts and feelings gathered from the president's speech, as well as focus on the future of the US in the next two years and beyond.

First, I think that the president's outlook on the country's development is more optimistic than most Americans would agree. Even from the onset, figures like the unprecedented growth in the economy since 1999 and the cheapest fuel prices in a decade seemed like a placatory offering to skeptical critics. Unfortunately for the president, approval ratings are at its lowest, and even the Economist points out that the number of US citizens who think unfavorably of Mr. Obama and his administration are at their highest. Do not misunderstand these statements, however. Approval ratings do not necessarily reflect tangible progress. Although President Obama's motives may be pure, good motives do not necessarily grant action and true growth, especially now with a majority Republican House and Senate. In other words, statements made may seem good, and might even be true, but they don't feel true. For example:

Unemployment rates may be dropping, yes, but let's not forget that many citizens are still working jobs unrelated to their fields, while being underpaid and over worked.

The economy may be growing, but although a chart may say growth is at a rate not seen since years before the Recession, to citizens it feels like it's growing at a snails-pace. People are still not on their feet financially. Extra income to save is also practically vacant for the middle class.

Gas prices might be at a manageable level compared to the past ten years, but this seems unrelated to US progress. Outside factors involving oil giants are more likely to take credit.

Young American test scores may be on the rise, but this does little to prove the health of the US education system which is plagued with apathetic teachers and outdated teaching styles. And this is, not to mention, the era of standardized tests which do little to show true growth and formation in knowledge.

Citizens with health insurance is at its highest in the history of the nation, but the Affordable Care Act (termed "Obamacare") has suffered from multiple inefficiencies and lack of planning. Plus, the media's portrayal of the plan removed the inherent "good" attributed to the bill by highlighting politics and shortcomings.

Soldiers are now home. And yes, president Obama can take the credit for this one. But when followed up by plans for engaging ISIL and a smarter drone policy, it doesn't seem like progress. Rather, more of a pause on regression.

This brings us to another important point.

President Obama's foreign policy has been heavily criticized by a wide range of analysts. It often teeters on the extremes of lacking and exceeding in force. Bringing the troops home from overseas was so important and much-needed.  The past thirteen years have seen a lot of bloodshed, and it has taken its toll on US citizens and communities in the Middle East. War is expensive-- financially, emotionally, socially.

Confronting ISIL now, alone, while risking more American lives (and plenty more Middle Eastern lives) is premature. Sure, Europe has declared a war on terror, but terrorism is a vague and shapeless enemy that will easily slip through our best efforts to eradicate it unless we have a world-united response to remove it. (Terrorism is a complete other issue, however, and it should be discussed elsewhere.) In sum, the US will almost definitely regret a decision to reengage conflict again, after an expensive and rather fruitless war in Afghanistan and Iraq just ended.

Finally, the president will need to somehow put in place a more aggressive bipartisan plan to pass laws in Congress. Republicans and Democrats both can be attributed with the heavy gridlock that has become so prevalent on the Hill. The longer nothing happens, the more frustrated citizens become, especially considering younger generations who are apathetic (and becoming disposed) towards government. This gridlock has been felt socially as well.

This all stems from a lack of unity seen and felt in society today (whether real or fabricated):

Republicans and Democrats.
Women and men.
[Race]. (I refuse to pit one against another, even as an example.)
Gays and Christians.
Muslims and Americans.
Millennial and other generations.
Terrorists and the West.
Immigrants and citizens.
Poor and rich.

These are perceived, and often very real, sources of contention. Although the media can be blamed for the "fanning the flames" of many of these divides, the problem stems from within. In reality, these mindsets must be eradicated if there is any hope for a brighter future-- for the world and for the US. The "us versus them" mentality can, and certainly will, cripple this nation and bring it to its knees.

A house divided against itself cannot stand.

Overcoming stereotypes and prejudices is entirely necessary to take the next steps forward. Here's where we must begin: seeing eye-to-eye with one another. When we see that an "enemy" lives and breathes like we do, it is humanly impossible to turn our hands to fists to administer blows to the other. When I can look into the eye of my brother or sister, and see the fear and desperation and rage that I, myself, am feeling, I cannot continue the hate. When I remove the perceived distance between my enemy and myself, I cannot continue to hate.  When I see beyond the political cartoons and cliché statements of why "the other side is just wrong," I see that others see progress differently than I do, and I cannot continue to hate.

Bringing forth a new era of positive change and growth at home begins with a humbled heart. My sister and brother desire progress as much as I. They simply see it in a different way.

President Obama's next two years in office will be defined by culture-- culture of the White House, culture of Congress, culture of social change, culture of the presence of the US in the world. Uniting on these issues is where US progress begins. Let's remove the disunion that has plagued our country for so long.

Unity has the potential to heal and strengthen.

A house divided against itself cannot stand.



Friday, January 9, 2015

Caffeine

Hi, I'm Derek.
When I drink coffee after 7pm, I stay up late.
When I stay up late, I think.
When I think, I write.
And what I write, you can now read.